In my family, stories of remembrance were shared often - especially on my dad’s side. Both of my parents spoke frequently about their love for their parents, but my dad had a deeper connection to our family lineage. We even have a documented family tree tracing back to the late 1500s, compiled by a great aunt who traveled to Norway and Scotland to connect with distant relatives and gather stories. I often think of her and share her aspiration to return to my roots and deepen my connection to those who came before.
Bisbee/Gerrard Family Tree from 1586 - early 1900's
Great Aunt Margaret + Distant Relatives in Scotland
I’ve always been drawn to this reflective time of the year—a season when the transition of autumn and the thinning veil invite us into a sacred space of remembrance. Many cultures recognize this season as a time to honor the memories of those who came before us. In these moments, we’re offered an opportunity to pause, reflect, and reconnect with our ancestors and loved ones who are no longer with us in this physical world. This connection is particularly valuable when we’re moving through grief, as it can remind us that we are not alone in our experience.
Finding Strength in Your Lineage
Grief can feel isolating and overwhelming, but one of the most humbling realizations in difficult times is recognizing that we are part of a long line of people who endured hardships and still found a way forward. Without their resilience, we wouldn’t be here today. Our ancestors faced immense challenges, endured losses, and navigated hardships we may never fully understand. Yet, through their struggles, they showed remarkable courage and strength, qualities that now reside within us.
When we remember our ancestors, we are not just honoring their memory; we are also acknowledging that same resilience flows within us. By connecting with those who came before, we can find reassurance in our capacity to endure, heal, and move forward. Their stories remind us that others have walked through their own dark nights and emerged on the other side, and we, too, can draw upon that strength in our moments of need.
Gerrards in the 1930's and 40's (who knows the hardships they went through!)
Simple Rituals of Remembrance
This season, consider creating your own rituals to honor those who came before you and to reconnect with the strength that lives within you.
Here are some gentle practices to help you navigate grief while deepening your connection to your roots:
Light a Candle: In the quiet of an evening, light a candle for those you wish to remember. Say their names, hold their memory in your heart, and send them a silent message of gratitude or love. Let the light be a reminder of the enduring connection between you.
Build an Altar or Sacred Space: Gather meaningful items that remind you of your loved ones—photos, keepsakes, or natural elements from the season. Creating a dedicated space where their presence feels close can offer comfort and a sense of connection.
Prepare a Favorite Dish: Food connects us deeply. Cooking or baking something your loved ones enjoyed can be a beautiful way to honor their memory and feel a sense of closeness.
Share Stories: Simply sharing stories of those who have passed keeps their legacy alive. This act of remembrance can be a way to affirm their ongoing impact on your life.
Host a Dumb Supper: Inspired by Celtic Samhain traditions, share a meal in silence, leaving an empty seat to honor and remember deceased loved ones. Each participant can silently offer their own thoughts or memories.
Visit a Sacred Place: Visit a place of significance, such as a cemetery or a spot where your loved ones’ ashes were scattered, to feel a deeper connection to their spirit.
Write Letters to Your Ancestors: Embrace the Japanese tradition of writing letters to deceased loved ones. This practice can be a powerful way to maintain a sense of connection, express emotions, and seek comfort.
These simple rituals can help you create a bridge between the past and present, offering a way to honor those you’ve lost while finding strength in their legacy.
An Invitation to Connect and Trust
As you move through this season of remembrance, may you find a sense of safety in acknowledging your place within your lineage. Trust in the resilience passed down to you and remember that you have the same strength within you to navigate through challenging times. Grief is a natural part of being human, and you are not alone in carrying it. You come from a line of people who faced hardships, endured loss, and continued on. Their strength is within you, and you have the capacity to carry forward, even when the path is difficult.
Take these moments to be gentle with yourself, honoring not only their memory but also the ongoing story of resilience that you are a part of. I wanted to share this mantra with you, in case you’d like to place it in your space or on an altar with photos and mementos:
“I carry the wisdom of my ancestors within me, and their courage lights my path forward.”