Light and Shadow Grief-tending during Summer Solstice
Published 9 months ago • 5 min read
Solstice Greetings
light and shadow grief-tending
"there is no light without darkness, and no darkness without light" Image credit: unknown
Dear Reader
I have been deep in the energies of summer for a while now - as is typical, feeling the urge to soak up every single moment of warmth and desperate to find a way to bottle it up to be used in several months from now. Summer solstice here was particularly sultry - warming to the bone.
As I have been scrolling the mostly “good vibes only stuff of the socials", I got to thinking about the cycles of light and shadow in the midst of grief.
As you know all too well, there are some days that feel completely dark and heavy. The pressure to feel only light can really leave those who are grieving to feel isolated, lonely, and even that there is something wrong with them.
The truth is, there are some days that are just simply dark vibes only. This is the way of nature, after all. Rhythms and cycles from dark to light (such as this time of the year), from light to dark (winter solstice), and an even balance of both (autumn and spring equinoxes) are happening continuously and predictably. These rhythms and balance are gentle reminders that no feeling is final and that eventually we will find our way back to balance.
We are meant to experience it all - the light, the dark, and every shade in-between.
The summer solstice marks the longest day and the shortest night of the year (this year, it cycled through on June 20th). Cultures around the world have celebrated this point of the year when the sun has reached its highest point in the sky with the gift of abundant warmth and daylight.
This is a time for renewal, growth, and full manifestation and creation. Just look out your window, and you'll see that there is no need for a calendar reminder - the birds are loud and abundant, the critters are busy, and the humans are out of their homes tending to their gardens, yards, and friends.
The vibe is expansive.
For anyone in grief, you'll know that the energies of grief are just the opposite: cool, contracted, and focused inward. It feels pretty perfect that we are welcoming in the solstice vibes to provide a little bit of balance - especially if grief is feeling particularly raw right now.
A little bit about Light and Shadow
Before you grab your pen and journal for the grief-tending practice below, let’s chat a little bit about the contrasting experiences and emotions of light and shadow in the context of your grief journey.
The Shadow
The “shadow” aspect of grief is likely pretty familiar to you. The pain and sadness is real, my friend. These emotions are cooler and heavier and can be completely overwhelming. Darn it if we don’t have to feel these, as well. But feel them, we must dear one.
I’m sure you have been surprised by varying emotions as you’ve made your way through your grief journey - I know the I have been taken aback by moments when I swear I am doing just fine one moment and, in an instant, can be swept away by the current of sorrow.
The Light
I am equally taken by surprise at times when a memory comes into my heart and with it a sweet smile as I recall how grateful I am to have had that memory in the first place. When just the week before (heck, even day or moment before), this same memory might have flooded me with anguish and anxiety.
These unexpected moments of joy, peace, or new insights that are just as much a part of the grieving process as the shadowy sides. This light is connected with a deep appreciation and connection with our loved ones, the comfort associated with the warmth of the love that will forever be a part of our relationship, and even appreciation of life itself knowing that time is fleeting.
We've come here to experience it all, love it all, and lose it all.
I’m not certain of much in this life, but one thing I have learned is that we have come here to experience all of it. I promise you that you have tremendous capacity to move through the tough stuff of life, and to allow it to move through you.
There are many grief-tending techniques to allow the shadowy parts of grief to move through you - one of them is journaling. I have had a Morning Pages practice for several years now (if interested, check out Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way).
So today, I invite you to reflect through a journaling exercise to explore the full gamut of emotions and experiences so that you can create space for renewal during this blessed summer solstice.
Should you not be interested in journaling, perhaps you simply wish to reflect on how grief is feeling in your body, mind, and spirit today and tend to that through reflection, a walk in nature, etc.
Grief-tending Journal Practice: The Light & Shadow of Grief
This journaling grief-tending practice offers a safe space to process and express the dualities of grief. By giving voice to both the real pain and the unexpected light, we can integrate the full range of emotions and experiences that are a powerful part of the journey.
Locate a peaceful and private space.
Light a candle or sit near a well-lit window to welcome in the warmth of natural sunlight.
Reflect on light and warmth:
Have there been unexpected moments of light that have made their way into your journey of grief?
What big or small experiences have brought to you a sense of warmth, connection, or belonging in the midst of your pain and sorrow?
You might consider this prompt to get you started:
In the midst of my grief, I have had moments of unexpected lightness and even joy. For example, when …. this happened … and I felt a tiny bit of relief/joy/lightness …
After exploring the qualities of lightness, gently turn your attention to the shadow. This might be a little easier than the light simply because we associate grief with shadow.
Reflect on shadow and heaviness:
What, in your grief experience, has felt the heaviest and most challenging?
Feeling into those more painful moments, allow yourself to acknowledge them without judgment and with a knowing that it all belongs.
You might ask yourself the following question:
"What shadows am I ready to explore and perhaps release with the light of the solstice sun?"
Remember that it ALL belongs. Reflect on how these light and shadow aspects coexist within you. By embracing both, you can truly extract insights and wisdom for navigating your grief moving forward.
Write for as long as it takes to full explore these questions and reflect through the coming days with tenderness and kindness toward yourself and others.
I hope this practice brings you a touch of solace and clarity during this powerful time of year.
With Love,
Andrea
PS Reader, I'd love to hear from you and am at your service. Please feel free to share my information with anyone you think might need a little grief support.