Good Morning Reader,
This time of year is my absolute favorite. There are hints of fall everywhere - though it seems Costco might have skipped a season, with Christmas decorations already on display! Geesh! It’s a reminder of how we often rush past the present, eager to move on to what’s next, without truly honoring where we are.
Here in the Midwest, I look forward to the cool-down after a long, hot summer. It’s a time to begin moving inward, to take a break from the outside world, and to reconnect with ourselves.
But this season also brings a deep, personal significance for me: Two years ago this Thursday, September 6th, I lost my mom.
In the weeks leading up to her passing, I would pick wildflowers (coneflowers and aster, mainly) to brighten her days and take my dad for drives through the countryside. The changing leaves and crisp air were a beautiful backdrop to those bittersweet moments, and now, each fall, those sights and smells transport me back to that time—and to my mom.
My body remembers those days more vividly than my mind. The scents, the sounds - they all come rushing back, along with the heaviness of those final moments with her. I’ve been feeling that familiar constriction and sadness these past few days, seemingly without reason. But my body remembers.
If you’ve been following my story, you know that just four weeks after my mom passed, my dad followed. (I’ll be writing more about this in my next newsletter.) I remember thinking that fall would never be the same for me - and it won’t be. But that doesn’t mean it has to be "bad."
As time passes and the seasons cycle, I’ve found that I can begin to let go of some of the harder feelings, making space for the love I hold for those I’ve lost. In the book I’m writing, I explore how each season can help us integrate grief into our lives. Fall, with its focus on moving inward, harvesting the goodness in our lives, and finding gratitude, is the perfect backdrop for being with our grief.
But, oh, how I miss my mom. She was one of a kind - a woman who loved deeply and fully, who never made me feel like I had to prove myself to earn her love. She shared her silly side with us too, from her frequent mishaps with losing her glasses to the way she kept my dad in line (he called her "the boss" for a reason!). She was beloved by everyone who knew her.
So, as we step into this special time of year, I have found myself especially connected with the difficult time we had two years ago. It would be easy to hate this time of year because of it.
However, I’m choosing to be with it all - the beauty and the missing. The falling leaves remind me of all I’ve lost, but also of the natural rhythm of life. Everything changes, and eventually, all that we love, we lose. It’s a truth I struggle with, but it’s also what makes life so precious.
As September begins, I will honor my mom through ritual and ceremony and by enjoying the things she loved. I’ll pick up fresh flowers, visit a thrift store, and make her favorite raspberry dessert - something I haven’t been able to enjoy since she died. This year, I’m ready.
If you’re sitting with a loss in your life, I encourage you to connect with the energies of fall and find ways to integrate them with intention. Spend time with the trees as they let their leaves fall, pick the last of the wildflowers that won’t last forever, and take inventory of the abundance in your life and express gratitude - even if this season has been challenging.
Wishing you all the abundance, gratitude, and beauty this season brings. I’d love to hear from you if you’d like to connect.
All my love,
Upcoming Grief Circle!
If you’re experiencing the pain of loss and are looking for a community that gets it, I’m starting a special grief circle this fall, beginning Tuesday, October 1st. I’ll be sending a separate email about it in a few days, but if you want a sneak peek, here you go! *Note: I am still workin' on the registration link so if you do try to join and it doesn't work - give me a shout!
Befriending Grief Circle
Reader, I have a favor to ask. If you know anyone who could benefit from a grief circle, I would greatly appreciate it if you could share this link with them:
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